Thought for the Day

"Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us - even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will. We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won't, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming."

- Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I Really Do Suck!

It's been a thoughtful week. Heck, a thoughtful couple of months. I have been analizing a few aspects of my personality and seem to keep coming up short. And I am wondering what I can do to change things and why I am the way I am. It all started when I was little. My family was in the Air Force and that required us to move every few years. I became used to leaving old friends and old lives behind. For some of the members of my family this was difficult. And I never really understood why. Don't get me wrong - I was sad to leave my friends and my life I had built; but I was also excited for the changes and the newness of a move. I think that although it was a life situation, it was also a part of who I was. I have always loved changes! :) It's so exciting, isn't it?! But lately I have realized that I have changed. I am not who I used to be. I think I like this new person (she feels a lot less guilt than she used to) but I am struggling to learn how to work with the new me. For example, I don't have a lot of patience for stupid things. "It is what it is" seems to be my life thought process now. And the next thought is usually "now pull on your big girl pants and get it done". Ha! I used to be the soft and gently and loving sort of person. The part of the new me that I have been thinking about lately is the "friendship" part. I think that I have lost some friends because of my stupidness and lack of patience. I just don't know how to be there "long-term". My life has always been one of being SOOOO close to family and not really being that dependant on friendships. I think of all my siblings, I was always the one that clung to family like I would drown without them. I still do that! I love just being at home with my husband and my kids around me. In fact, I often "flake out" on other things just so I can be at home. :) It's not that we do all these exciting and amazing things. We've only been to Disneyland once, 10 years ago (preLivvy). The last "vacation" we had was a year ago and it was to visit family in Utah for Livvy's baptism. My point is that I just love being with my family; playing cards, hanging out, just being together. :) So I am trying to be a better friend; trying to connect with people and understand that I need to do things with them. I am SO blessed to have amazing and wonderful friends in my life - I need to not just be grateful in my heart but also in my actions. Soooooo.... to everyone out there that I love: please be patient with me as I try to be better. Also be willing to tell me when you need/want me to hang. I am thick skulled and need to be reminded. :) I love you and I am grateful for you all! And whether you are near or far I know that my life has been made so much richer for you being a part of it!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

This World May Seem Like A Ferris Wheel...

...sometimes your up and sometimes your down. I have been listening to an old cassette tape from when I was young, "My Turn On Earth". Those are the words from one of the songs. And that is how my life feels right now. CRAZY!! The latest with me being in bed for over a month. I hurt my back and it got so bad that I had to take an ambulance to the ER. That sucked but I got some good meds out of it! :) Then just as my back was getting better, we started getting the flu. First Elijah and then Elizabeth and lastly me. I have been SICK for almost 2 weeks with that. I am FINALLY starting to feel like normal again. YAY! I still have some residual "stuff" but I am so grateful for being able to be up and moving and doing things. We have been doing well as a family. The kids are getting big!! Elizabeth is 14 and going to dances and enjoying High School. Elijah is 13 and has found his voice. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't be so vocal though. :) Jake is almost 12 and wants to play tackle football and loves Polar Bears! Livvy is almost 9 and such a social butterfly!! But she still loves cuddles with Mom and, of course - Dogs! I have started selling doTerra essential oils and other odds and ends. I also make flannel diapers for a group called Teeny Tears. And I have started cleaning to make a few extra dollars. I love being at home and doing my crafts and being with my family. And now my kiddos are home and we have a busy evening ahead of us!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Looking at my blog today. Apparently I have been neglecting this thing. ;) I am using my in-laws iPad - LOVE this thing. hold on, I will put a pic in. Never mind, I guess the iPad isn't compatible with downloading pictures from the computer. Oh well, it was just a few pics of the kids. I am gonna end this post for now. People tend to frown upon playing cards and updating your blog @ the same time.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

15 years ago

I married the man of my dreams.
This is the story of how we met.
I was serving a mission in Australia (Brisbane) and I was being transfered into a new area. I was nervous and a little sad. I was leaving a lot of people that I had grown close to in an area called Chermside.
When I got into the car to be taken to my new area there was also an Elder who was being taken to his new area. But man this guy was GRUMPY!!! I tried to ask a few questions thinking that maybe he was just shy and nervous. But the guy was a real jerk. So I turned to my new companion and started chatting with her.
Over the next week or so I came into contact with this Elder and he was still Cranky. I wasn't sure what his problem was but I knew that if we had to work together in this area then he would have to lighten up. (I can't stand mean people)
So one afternoon as we were all helping someone from church to paint his fence and deck I decided to have a little fun.
I took a handful of paint and hid it behind my back and went around the house to where the Elders were working. I stood talking for a few minutes and then suddenly I said, "Elder Little, you have a bee on your ear. Hold on, I'll get it!" I then took my handful of paint and smeared it on the side of his face.
I still have flashbacks of the look on his face. Instant anger for a short second and then a wicked glint in his eye. When I saw that glint, I ran! I ran harder than I had ever run in my life!!
From then on, Elder Little was kinder and funer (not a real word, I know). Our little group of missionaries became close friends and I was sad when a month later Elder Little was transferred.
Then a month after that I found out that he wa being transferred again and into my old area. The one that I had made some good friends and connections with. So I called him and gave him a list of people to see and what members to get good dinner appts from. :)
The biggest surprise of all was when a month after THAT when I was transfered back to my old area. The area where Elder Little was.
Over the next 8 months we all became close and had a lot of fun moments. Too many memories to express here, but eventually my mission was at an end. I had some amazing experiences in regards to "Elder Little" and was even encouraged by our Mission President to write him when I got home.
"Elder Little" followed me home 10 months later. During that time I dated and had lots of fun with friends. I worked hard at 3 jobs and just enjoyed being young and happy. I wrote to Bret and did a lot of soul searching and praying.
I hope I don't share to much, but Bret had always known that when he met the woman who was to be his wife he knew that he would just know it. For those of you that know my husband know that he is a very determined man. He knows what is right and he does what is right. PERIOD! That is how it was for him. He knew I was it. He never stepped out of line from what the Lord expected of him or what he needed to do.
I am completely different - I needed the time. And although it was a very difficult 10 months in some ways, it was a very important 10 months for me.
Once Elder Little came home, we dated and became serious very quickly! Bret got home Oct. 1996. We were engaged within a week and married within 3 months - January 11, 1997.
That was a day that was completely unreal! My fiance had a painful sprained ankle (dork was snowboarding the day before and got hurt) and there was a horrible blizzard on it's way. Bret and his family had to drive from Ogden to Logan through the canyon and almost didn't make it because of the amount of snow falling.
You have no idea of the amount of relief I felt when his old blue and white ford bronco pulled up in front of my house. From that point on I was in a sweet, happy faze.
We were married in the Logan temple and then had a luncheon for our families. I don't remember much. I know I wore a pink dress and that it was still snowing.
Afterward we went to my parents house to rest for a little bit before the reception. Bret and I took a nap while everyone else got things ready for the reception. The reason I mention this is that I remember being so concerned that I wasn't helping to get things set up. Not because I cared that things were perfect, but because I have always been "helpful" - it was wierd being treated like a princess and not having to lift a finger. :)
The reception was low-key and so sweet. I am a low-key person so it was EXACTLY what I wanted. Except the snow! In case you haven't notice the one thing that was constant about my wedding day I will tell you - SNOW!!! It was one of the worse blizzards in Logan for years. I don't think they've had one that bad since. Which made things even sweeter in a way. There were so many people that came to our reception that I know had to really struggle to come. The support and love that I felt that night was wonderful! My brothers went out every few minutes to put salt on the sidewalks and driveway. Family and friends travel for hours. And other family and friends cooked and prepared and set-up for this night. For us!
By the end of the night, I was a bundle of nerves. EVERYTHING was frozen!!! That included my car's locks and handles. We had to cancel our honeymoon suite in the canyon. We got a reservation for a run-down, hotel in Logan. I cried and cried while my dad and brothers used matches, lighters, and a blowdryer to open my car. I was an emotional wreck as Bret and I drove to our "honeymoon".
Looking back at it all, we laugh! What a fun memory for us to share with our kids.

You know, I am sometimes asked how I "knew" that Bret was the one... My answer? PEACE! The butterflies and rolling tummy feelings will come and go. But I know that the peaceful and calm feelings will remain. I know that things will be ok as long as Bret is by my side. He truly is my peace.

I wanted to express my love for my sweet husband. He is AMAZING!!! I have been blessed by his kindness and tenderness. He is devoted and constant. He takes care of me and nurtures me. He encourages me to be better but loves me as I am. He sees the good in me even when I can't. Today I get to celebrate the blessing that he is to me! :)
I love you, Bret J Little! I respect you and adore you! Thank you for asking me to marry you! Thank you for being everything I didn't know I needed! Thank you for being the perfect father of my children. Thank you for your goodness and righteousness. Thank you for the hugs and the kisses and the cute butt songs. :) Thank you for 15 years and an Eternity more. Thank you!!!!