I don't want to clean the very messy house, I don't want to go to the appointment that I have for Livvy's speech, and I don't want to put real clothes on. I just want to lay around the house and read a book. :) Can I please??!!!???
I feel sad today. I feel lost in so many aspects of my life. Have you ever had a time in your life where you are a completely different person than from who you've always been? I am going through that right now. I don't know what caused the change and it's very foreign to me. I really do feel odd - like I'm not myself.
For example, I used to enjoy being creative. I wasn't ever extremely talented, but I had fun creating things. Not now. I can't stand the hassle it takes to create. I want things simple.
Also, I used to be a friendly person. I have ALWAYS loved other people and found joy in my friendships. Now I don't let anyone get too close. I don't like the hassle of dealing with people. I can never do the right things for them. Things I say or do are misunderstood.
I used to be more organized in my callings. Now I'm a scatterbrained, teary-eyed mess. I can't seem to formulate a concise thought to save my life and I don't wear mascara to church anymore. It ends up running down my face.
It is such an odd feeling to not recognize yourself. And the frustrating thing is that not all of my new "traits" are bad. I just don't understand why I'm so different and how can I get some of "me" back?
4 comments:
Sweetie sounds like your hormones are in need of a tweaking! Get back to your doc--the good thing is, you recognize that this isn't normal. Don't forget to pray, and make sure you talk about it to those most important, so they understand what's going on too! Best wishes!
that's my steph..er...whoever the heck you are? you know, my kids do know you as "crazy aunt stephy", right? Just so you know, we appreciate your "traits", and enjoy riding on the "crazy train" along with you. Keeps things unpredictable and entertaining:) c-ya soon
You may feel a little scattered but I think the core of you and who you are remains the same. I think life is just pulling you in different directions. Just hang in there and enjoy getting to know the new you. New or old, I enjoy the little quirks that make you unique.
Hi, my dear friend!! i love you! I know what you mean. I think life in it's self these days is like that. Love your family and the Lord and you'll get past this. LMK if you need anything.
Remember, I luv ya!!
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