Wow

I looked at my last post, March 2010. Long time ago. I have recently felt the need to come back to my blog and begin to write my life and feelings again. Before it was more about sharing what is going on in our lives, but right now I have been going through a lot of inside changes. I was a place to write them all down and I really like the "blog" format. Don't know why - just do. I think it might have something to do with the need we all have to share a bit of ourselves with someone. This is more of a random, "here I am" type of sharing.
So, onto my posting...
Lately I have struggled with changes in my personality and the way I look at things. Maybe it's because I am getting older. Maybe it's because I haven't been on my medication. :) And honestly, it could even be because I haven't been close to my Heavenly Father. Which is a big deal for me. Anyone who knew me years ago, knew how often I turned to Him. My testimony was a big part of my life and who I was. Not so much now. And it makes me sad.
My personality now? Bitter, sarcastic, untrusting, introverted, and judgemental. All of which were always part of me, just not very strong. Before, I was able to see someones faults before, but not let it affect my opinion of them. Now, on the other hand, I just get so frustrated by people and what I view as their poor choices. And I get angry and feel that I need to tell them the "right" way of doing things!
I know how bad this sounds! YUCK! But it's the truth. I could analyze myself for hours and figure out where this all comes from but I think for now I just wanna work on making it go away and getting back to who I am at the CORE.
First thing is to get back to reading my Scriptures and saying my Prayers. I NEED that! I CRAVE that!
Second is to work hard to be a Postive person. In my thoughts, my words and my actions. It is amazing how when you start to think negatively it becomes who you are.
And thirdly, I need to work on loving myself. This entails making better health choices and being content with my strengths and not jealous of others. I am a quiet, behind the scenes kind of person. I shouldn't try to be the life of the party. That's just awkward for everyone involved! :) LOL
Lastly, find ways to show the ones I love how much I love them in simple ways. Been reading the "Five Love Languages" book and want to apply it to all people I love. So don't be surprised to get a call or card or sign of love from me.
And as always, you are welcome to come along on this crazy ride of self REdiscovery!