So yesterday was Jake's BDay. And as you probably saw I made a picture tribute to the little guy and posted the slideshow on my blog. Well, in preparing the slideshow I went through all our pictures of the kids from birth till now. Man was that difficult for me!! I can't explain the sadness in the pit of my stomach for the rest of the day.
Everyone always tells you that the time with your babies will go fast and to enjoy it before it's gone. Do any of us young mommies ever listen to that? That's a big Nope!
"Yeah, Whatever!" we all think. And honestly in that phase of our lives we are a bit selfabsorbed (and dramatic). It isn't until you look at old pictures of those cute little faces and diaper butts that you really REALLY miss those times. Why is that?! That's going to be one of my questions for the Big Man when I die! Why not let us just enjoy our stages in life WHILE we are in them. At least for a month or two. Even now, do I enjoy where I'm at in my life now?! Not when I'm sitting at the computer getting a headache crying over pictures of my little babies! :) Or not when I'm wishing that my 9 yr. old daughter were married with kids of her own (maybe then she'd understand me more). My mom will be the first to tell me that even then it's still not the perfect relationship - she wishes her daughters were closer now! :)
You wanna know what sets off my moments of regret (regretting not to cherish it more)? Every morning when they get out of the car and walk into the school; every night when I go in to check on them; every time I see a little 2 yr. old who looks like one of my kids did back then; when a cartoon comes on that they used to watch as a toddler; old pictures (of course); every time they cry over something tough at school; when I see a little tiny Buzz Lightyear toy; every time they cuddle up to me on the couch; when certain songs come on the radio; every time I look at my gravity loving body and think of how it felt to fit into a bra and jeans comfortably; when I drive by our old house; or on their birthdays and I reflect on my life with them in it!
Is it any wonder that I'm a bundle of tears every day of my life with thoughts like this?! :)
1 comment:
WELCOME to my world times 1000000000000000000000000000000!!!
Not only do I have those thoughts of my 5, but of my 16.
You also are a bundle of tears because of your foremothers, so find joy in it. Nothing like a good cry to stuff up your sinus' and make your face look motley.
A face only a mother could love. And I do love yours!!!
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